All Secrets Revealed
by pictishcat
Summary: Sylvia was Jashin's best friend. When her heart was broken by a man, Jashin turned her to his religion. Sylvia loves Jashin, but won't except it. Jashin has loved her scince they were friends and can't tell her.
1. Prolouge

Leader-sama Wouldn't Lie

"Help!" a scratchy voice cried out for the seventh time. "Somebody hel-" The voice was suddenly cut off as a shriek filled the ally. _What did I do to get this way?_ Sylvia asked herself as the man's bloody body hit the ground. Of course, it was only another mission for her leader Jashin-sama. _What am I thinking? Jashin-sama wanted this man gone. It was not really a crime. Silly people, thinking that everyone who dies deserves justice. What if it was them dying that was delivering justice?_ All of this ran through her mind in the few seconds it took to throw a few drops of the potion that would dispose of the body and all blood onto the dead man. She jumped onto the roof of the nearby building, jumping from roof to roof to get back to the hideout. She didn't live there, but she had to report in to the keeper so that the report can be returned to him. _ Target was eliminated. _ Sylvia's world suddenly went dark. "Sleep well Sylvia. I hope you don't have much pain." Jashin-sama's voice floated through her mind as the final flashback ran.

_I will never hurt you or let you get hurt ever again, Sylvia._

_R-really? Jashin?_

_Jashin-sama to you now. _

Then she died.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Sylvia woke in a cold sweat. It was peculiar; she had the same dream for a fortnight straight. Was it premonition? The man's face had been blurry, unrecognizable. She wandered into the kitchen and brewed her coffee. It was a beautiful, brisk Japan morning. The cherry-blossoms were in full bloom outside her oasis set up for her by Jashin-sama. It was odd to think of the time they had been best friends and not Leader to Follower. It felt strange in her chest to think about him as that self. Her heart would flutter in her chest and she'd have a battering against her stomach. She had told her fellow Jashinist friends about the feeling, but when they pried for the name of the person who made her feel this way she denied them. They told her it was love, but that cannot, was not, and never will be.

She hated the thought. She drank her coffee in silence, that is, until a knock came at the door. The lady standing there bowed, a scroll strapped across her back. It was another messenger. "I-is this the house of Sylvia Taran?" the woman asked in an accent, that sounded vaguely Russian. "Yes", Sylvia replied in her best imitation of an innocent woman who hasn't been out of her house often. "A message from Lord Jashin. He would like to invite you to a ceremonial ball. He also sends a package for you." She said, pulling a large box out of a very teeny-tiny satchel wrapped around her waist. "Thank you." I said in my normal voice. "You are very much welcomed." Said the woman, looking surprised. She turned and walked off without another word. _Well that was odd._ She thought as she walked into her house. She decided to open the package and upon doing so, found a beautiful kimono of black and red silk in a floral pattern with one red cloud on the collar with gold stitches. It was so, so…. There was no word good enough. What was the Ball for? Was she really expected to wear this to the Ball? Sylvia went on with her morning. She went out and jumped from roof to roof to get to her target intended for today. An old woman was to be taken to Jashin's hideout. She supposedly had taken care of him when he was a boy. The woman had expanded her life, means unknown, but she was over two-thousand years old. Jashin was about seven-thousand years old, but looks like a twenty year old man. She was Jashin's left hand woman, so of course she was assigned this mission. She swept the curtain of her room aside. The old lady smiled peacefully and asked, "Jashin sent you?" At Sylvia's nod she laughed. "He's a good boyo. He still cares for his adoptive mother, even after many years of not seeing me." She pulled her feeble body into her arms and spirited her to Jashin's.

"Sylvia! Moda, dear! It's good to see you again. Now I get to return what you did for me so many years ago. Come! Lay her down on the bed in the room next to mine." He directed me. She did as he said, and he brought Moda some chicken broth and a green puree. Sylvia left the room and was about to leave when Jashin pulled her aside and pushed her into a wall, his body pressing to hers. "If you would like to know, the ball is November third. Wear the kimono please. And would you stay the night?" All female Jashinists would love to be in her position right now. Jashin was notorious for sleeping with women under his control. "I will, but I will stay with Kylie. As usual." She replied to his advances. He would try and try to get her in bed with him, but she would not be used and thrown away. "Please stay with me tonight." He asked, eyes smoldering. "I will not be used. Is the only reason you gave me this position so that you could use my body for your purposes? If it is, then give it to another. For I refuse to be tossed aside by anyone." She made her way to Kylie's room. Jashin stood there dumbstruck. She had walked away from him and his advances. He was stunned by her accusations, they cut him deep. _Is that what she thinks of me? That I would just use her and throw her away? Doesn't she know I love her? Isn't it obvious? Why am I worrying? I need sleep. _ He wandered to the old woman's room to take care of her.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Sylvia's POV

"Hello, Kylie!" I said walking into her room, knowing her 'boy-toy', Zeke, as she called him would be there. Zeke was reading with Kylie draped on her bed with her iPod in. She sighed and took her iPod and put it away.

"Refuse Jashin again?" she asks getting to the point.

"If you must know, yes."

"Seriously, he won't use you Syl. I know because he tried to use Yuki and got dumped face first in a tub. She wasn't too happy when he told her who he was really in love with, in fact, you know what she did."

Yes, I did all to well, know what her sister did. She stabbed herself in the heart, all because of that self-centered, egotistical, hormone run man that I loved. Who he loved I didn't know, but how would that make him not use me, if he used Yuki? "How does that prove that Sama won't use me?" I asked, making a point.

"Oh, come on, Syl! Do you seriously not know? He l-"

Kylie slapped her hand over his mouth. "Let Jashin tell her, you bakame! If she doesn't know we can't tell her!"

"Tell me what?"

"He'll tell you when he's ready."

"Whatever, bakas." I said dropping onto the mattress that Kylie prepared for me. I then lost consciousness.

Jashin's POV

Sylvia's words hurt, and I admitted this to my adoptive mother.

"She won't understand unless you tell her you love her, boyo. She'll just think you want her body and will not love her with your whole heart."

"But that is the thing, Moda; I do love her with my whole heart. It pains me that she doesn't reciprocate those feelings."

"She can't unless you tell her." My ever wise mother figure said.

"I guess you're right. I just can't face rejection."

"My all powerful son, scared of rejection." Moda joked.

"Yes, I am."

"Don't be. She is head over heels for you; it is plain to see for me. But I am used to seeing love when others don't wish to show it."

I made up my mind then and there; I would tell her my feelings.

Sylvia's POV

I awoke to Kylie screaming and throwing a vase at Zeke.

"You ass! You ruined my fucking favorite shirt! Get out of my sight!" as soon as he was out the door she broke down crying.

"Kylie, what's wrong?"

"I-I don't want Zeke to find out. I-I'm pregnant. I-I don't know what to do."

"Tell him!"

"How? He will reject me! I can't tell him! I can't face him leaving me."

"Is he more than a 'boy-toy' to you now?"

"I love him."

Jashin's POV

I heard a loud crash from Kylie's room. _Sylvia!_ I ran and heard about Kylie being pregnant, by, of all people, Zeke. Why that poor boy? _'Boy-toy'? Wow, Kylie's term is accurate for Zeke. What? She loves him? Damn, he's unaware of things. Well, so am I…. What? Aaghh! Forget it!_

I passed through the hall and managed to grab Sylvia's attention.

"Kylie, I'll be right back." She ran up to me. "Jashin…..err…I have some thing to tell you….."

"Yes, Sylvia?"

"I -erm- l-l-loveyou."

"What was that?" I asked not sure if I heard right.

"I love you, Jashin-sama" She said looking down. "I wouldn't expect you to return my irration-"

I cut off her little rant, with a kiss. She felt the same. I was elated. I broke the kiss and she whined trying to cling to me and kiss me more. "I love you as well, my precious Sylvia. I have always loved you."

"J-Jashin." She moaned my name as my lips connected with the soft spot on her neck.

I sucked on the spot, pushing her into a wall to keep her knees from buckling. I chuckled into her throat. "Should we…..take this to my room?" I whispered into her ear.

"N-no, Jashin-sama. I –I can't." She breathed.

"Why not?" I asked pulling away, as her rejection hit me hard.

"Because, I've told you before. I won't be used and tossed aside. Especially not by you."

"I would never toss you aside, Sylvia. I love you too much, and wouldn't have the strength to stay away from you."

"How many girls and or women have heard those words from your lips? Have touched your skin as you used their bodies? Have kissed those lips, called your name, loved you? How many did you toss away when you were done with them? How many did you keep your fevered promises too? You used all of them, tossed them away, and never truly loved. Why would I take such a risk, the only risk that would kill me from the inside out, the only reason I would truly have to kill myself over? No, I cannot be with you. Cannot risk my heart, cannot give myself to you. For I can never know if you truly love me. Not with your past, not with the girls who I knew who committed suicide because you just used them and didn't give them another glance. I will not be one of them; will not join their ranks, under the soil rotting away, because of stupidness, because of something that could've been avoided." She looked at me with a closed heart, but her pain showed through. "I can't and I won't." she stated, cold, emotionless. Pushing me off of her she left me standing there, wondering how she could doubt me, and with the answer right in front of me.

My past, those women and girls who gave themselves to me willingly, the ones who I didn't remember their names the next morning. How could I have been so careless? Didn't I know I would fall in love eventually? Yes, but I thought it wouldn't matter. That they would love me anyway. Sylvia did love me, but she did care. She was learning from what happened to the others. I never said I loved them, they expected me to after I had them. I just wanted the pleasure they would give me. I never wanted their hearts. Just their bodies.

I need to stop hurting her like this. I will show her how I feel about her. But….how? I can't show my emotions, my heart, more. Do I bare my soul? Give her what she wants? Die and leave everything I had to her? How do I show her that she is the only thing I need to live? I want to give her everything, give her my soul, me. I want her to have what she wants, what she deserves. Why won't she tell me why? Why does she say she loves me than tells me she won't be mine? How can she say it then leave me to die? Did I hurt her so deeply? Did I present myself as fickle? Shallow? Uncaring, unloving? How?


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Sylvia's POV

It took more strength to walk away from him than it would seem. I used Kylie's trick of locking away my emotions just to keep from giving in. How foolish have I been? I tell him my feelings and expect him to really, truly reciprocate them and he just wants my body. I know I shouldn't have pushed him away, let him go, but he'd just use me. Not love me. Not truly love me. What is life then? _I will not kill myself because of him! I won't join those heartbroken bitches in the ground! I won't!_ I ran as fast as I could. Away from him, from my personal temptation, to the only place I could. My mother.

"Sylvia? Dear? What's wrong? Come tell your mother."

And I did. I told her everything. I bared my soul to her.

"It's okay. Shhhhh. You're back home now. It'll be fine, you'll see. Now come and help me make some dinner."

And for the next month, it was okay. But I knew I'd have to face him sooner or later. That was proven the night a knock came at the door.

"Hello. What business do you have here?" my mother asked politely, but severely at the same time.

"Hello."

No. No, he can't be here! Not now! Not my mother's!

"I was wondering if a Sylvia was here."

"What is your name, sir?"

"Jashin. I'm terribly sorry if I have the wrong address."

"Jashin." I said evenly from the hall. "Come in. Would you like a cup of tea? Coffee?"

"Sylvia, can I talk to you alone?" He looked panicked that I wasn't already alone.

"I love you, Momma. I will stop by another time. "

"I love you too, honey. Come back soon."

"I will, Momma. Be safe please. I wouldn't be able to live without you." Jashin looked upset that I said that to my mother. _Good. It'll teach him that he is not my whole world. _I know it is a cruel thing to say but I didn't care. He ruined my only haven.

"Sylvia. I cannot prove my love to you, but is it not enough that I have searched for you? Searched and wanting to be more than your leader? I hold the years that I was your best friend dear. When Danar broke yo-"

"Don't say his name!" I yelled tears streaking down my face.

"Sylvia! He broke you! He broke you and I hated him for it! For doing that to you! For taking my favorite thing in the world and harming it! I sent men after him, I wanted him gone, and none of my men returned! I went myself, to rid the world of him, only to find him already dead. He was hanging, by himself from a rafter of an old barn. I couldn't understand what drove him to the extreme but-"

I laughed through the pain of my past. "He didn't hang himself. I hung him; the bastard had come back, asking for one more chance. I got mad, hung him and ran."

Jashin was stunned for a bit. "You, hung him? How? Sylvia." Was all he could say.

"Yes, Jashin, I'm not so sweet and innocent. I kill without orders from you. I don't just do what you tell me too. I have hatreds too."

Then, he kissed me.


	5. Chapter 4

**Author warning: contains, sex don't want don't read! If you read, and post about how it shouldn't have had sex in it, I will tell you to fuck off because I put up this warning for all of you sexualness haters! Yes I made up that word but who gives a flying fuck? I don't! Enjoy!**

Jashin's POV

I had to kiss her then, I couldn't hold back anymore. Her soft lips melded with mine, alarm coursing through her system. Then she let go and kissed back. I kissed her, letting out my love and passion for her, and she let go too. I wish it was more than that stolen kiss, but alas she ran off when I let her go. Ran somewhere that I couldn't find her. Into her own mind. "Sylvia?"

"I'm fine just wondering how you can fake emotion, even in a kiss."

"I'm not faking any emotion. What did you feel?"

"I felt overwhelming love, but you cannot truly feel that for me. Maybe it was my own emotions, forcing me to feel what is not there."

"Sylvia, I do love you, and that is an understatement. I adore you, worship you, want to hold you forever in my arms. But you won't believe the truth, that I love you. And I want you to understand. Please, believe me. And love me too."

I waited for only a second before her lips crashed into mine again. "Sylvia," I whispered against her lips, and she moaned. I licked her bottom lip and she opened her mouth, allowing my tongue entrance. I used a dark portal to take us to my house, into my room and pressed her against a wall, my body pressing into hers, hips pressing hips, chests melding into one.

"Jashin. Stop." She managed to gasp out.

I hated to stop but did so, because she asked it of me.

Her eyes went wide, and her breathing sped up. "You do love me." Were the words to come out of her mouth. She was stunned by something. "They all said the same things, that you wouldn't stop in the middle of your fun when asked, that you were forceful and never gentle. But you are being gentle, you did stop. Why? Why do this to me? Why do what you have never done for the others if I am just to join them in your forgotten memories?"

"Sylvia, I could never forget you."

"Jashin." She breathed. Could she really not have kissed me then? She did and it was fiery and passionate. She moaned when I laced my hands around her waist and grabbed her ass. She opened her mouth demanding my tongue enter. I did so and let one hand slide up the back of her sweater until her ribcage, then slid it around to the front and played with the edge of her bra.

"Mmmmmm." She moaned leaning her head back as a groan built in her chest.

"Do you want this, Sylvia? You can say no."

She stopped short, mid-groan. She looked at me and pushed me away. She turned to leave and took five steps before I turned away and walked towards my bed.

Right after I reached it, something slammed into my back, forcing me to the bed. They spun me around to face them with such speed that they could only be one of my followers.

"Like I'd give this up, baka. Do you take me for a fool? I've needed you to love me, ever since you were my best friend. I've wanted to feel this and have you feel the same, I have waited for you to need me like I need you, and now that it has come to reality, I'm taking it without regret." Sylvia kissed my lips and melded her body to mine.

I took off her shirt and ran my hands over her smooth skin, feeling her body react so strongly that I know she's never done this before. "Sylvia," I breathe into her collar bone, undoing the clasp of her bra. She jolts as I cup her breast in my hand and squeeze. I release thinking that I've hurt her, but she just lowers it back into my hand. I let my other hand remove her pants and play with her sensitive inner thigh, letting her get used to my attentions. Her breathing stutters as I slide my hand farther up, caressing her thinly covered privates. I let that hand slide around to her ass, moving so that it slides down into her panties. I slide them down so that she lay there exposed underneath me, as I had asserted dominance by flipping her over.

"J-Jashin." She stuttered out of her trembling lips.

"Yes, love?"

"P-please."

I understood and smiled down at her as her body wanted to have its fun, but her mind didn't understand what it was wanting. I bent down and sucked at her neck, making her crave me even more. I checked her whole neck, searching for a sweet spot. When I found it she cried out, a wordless exclamation of pleasure that was neither loud nor quiet, but in between. I let her remove my shirt and pants, and she seemed hesitant to remove my boxers. "What's wrong? Scared? If you are, it's okay. We don't have to finish this."

She growled a low unnatural sound. "Don't treat me like a child. I can handle anything you do."

"Are you sure?" I asked, my hand playing with her sensitive area.

"Yes." She groaned, her body eliciting feelings she has never felt before.

I then slipped a single finger in her entrance, causing my love to cry out. I ran my finger around inside of her, pressing slightly so that I knew her sweet spot and could hit it or rub against it during our ….. erm, business. She gasped slightly as I moved my finger over the spot. I slipped another finger inside her, getting a moan when I ran them both over her sweet spot. I played with her a bit, before we started. I pulled my fingers out of her, and she whimpered, feeling empty.

"Do you not like the empty feeling, Sylvia?"

"No…" she whimpered.

"Well, only one way to cure that. Mind taking off my boxers, dear?"

She took them off and stared at my length.

"What's wrong, Sylvia?"

"I-it's-it's s-so b-big." She stuttered out.

"Don't worry, Love. I assure you it won't hurt."

"B-bu-but-"

"But, nothing. I will not hurt you. It won't be entirely painless, but it will not be unnecessarily painful."

"I-I trust you, Jashin. I l-love you." She whispered, clinging to me, nails digging into my shoulder blades.

She cried out in pain as a started to enter her, stretching the thin flesh. As soon as I was fully sheathed inside of her, I stopped, letting her get used to my size.

"J-J-Jashin. M-m-move, p-please." Came her whispered plea.

When she begged like that, I had no choice but to comply. I pulled out until only my head was sheathed then slowly pushed back inside of her. I continued like that, each time going a little faster than the last.

"H-ha-harder. J-Jashin, harder." She demanded.

She was my weakness. I could never deny her anything she wanted. But if she was in pain, she never let me know. Maybe she was a bit masochistic. I'd never guess though. It being her first time, she should have been unknowing unable to please me back. But she did, marking my skin with her mouth. Digging her nails into my back, pressing herself against me. It was heaven in hell. How? Everything was perfectly torturous. Her sweet body was perfect, the sounds she made, unforgettable, but the way she moved against me was so wonderful it almost hurt.

"Aaahhhh~!" she cried as I spilt my seed inside her.

I collapsed next to her, fitting our bare bodies together like a puzzle. I whispered a goodnight, I love you and fell into the deep black of sleep.


End file.
